Part XIII- I melted wax to fix my wings

Naturally Sadie finishes, and on comes some random frantic cartoon thing.

I have never been more 'not in the mood' in my entire life.

So I reach over, grab my little remote and switch it off.

Now what?

Hmmm, I wonder whats out of my window.

Standing up, five things happen out once.

1.I get tangled in whatever wires they've got stuck in my arms.
2.I remember that my stomach hurts
3.A passing nurse freaks out
4.The world begins its regular swirly dancing
5.and 'good one genius'

The nurse gently shoves me back into my bed and rearranges my wiring while giving me an impossibly stern lecture about how I have a very serious stomach injury and absolutely cannot do that again until a doctor tells me I can. In writing. And to get some rest.

Big shocker there.

So I try.

I stare at my curtains.

A lot.

I begin to count the bunches of ugly flowers so cheaply printed onto them.

Factor in fractions.

Try to figure out what they are, dredging my exhausted mind for useless flecks of botany.

Oh, thats what they are. Chrysanthemums.

37 and 5/9ths of vomit coloured chrysanthemums.

woopdy doo.

Finally, I decide I'll result to sleeping pills.

yay for the call button.
One quick 'can't sleep' and a new colour is added to the rainbow of chemicals running through my veins.

After a few minutes, my eyelids feel extraordinarily heavy.

I let them close and a second later, they are open again.

Well thats just great, they didn't work at all.

call button again.

'You must try the tea!!' an eccentric looking middle aged man with a giant purple hat points to his elbow as he bustles in with a tray of what looks like it was meant to be dinner.

If this wasn't weird enough, he is followed in by a human sized rabbit, in a waistcoat!!

'You... you're a rabbit!!'
'WHAT did you say?'

'You heard me!'
'Good sir! I am not a rabbit!!!! Anyone with half a brain could see that I am a hare!!'

'A hair? But you are much too large to be a hair, hairs are much thinner! And I'm not a sir either!!'
'ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!!'
'JAM, GET THE JAM!!!!!!SOMEONE GET THE JAM BEFORE THIS GETS REALLY MESSY!!'

'Jam?? I thought that was for the doormouse?'
'This is nonspecific calming jam, silly!'

A large dollop of what appeared to be grape jelly later, calm was restored, the hare was sleeping and the hat man was pouring me a cup of tea.

Again.

'You look like an intelligent man...'
He blinked at me.
'I think you should have your eyes checked young lady. surely it could be accurately said that I look like a man, but intelligence has nothing to do with appearance. It takes a truly intelligent person to know that intelligence is all about paper cuts!'

'What?'
'I think I've made my point.'

'Anyway, I just wanted to ask you something.'
'Certainly my dear prune flange'

'Where's Alice?'
In that 6/8ths of an instant, all the ridiculous colour drains from him, seeming even to make his hat a paler shade of insanity violets.

Without taking his eyes from me, he shakes the hare awake, hurriedly gathers up his teacups and stands for a moment, seeming to try to think of something to say.

'...MOVE DOWN!!!! MOVE DOWN CLEAN CUP MOVE DOWN MOVE CUP CLEAN DOWN CUP DOWN MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE'

and they ran.

why won't anyone tell me what happened to alice??

Part XII-You'll never get to college but you'll sure look cool

Gently placing the phone back in its cradle, I wonder why its called a cradle.

Images of beautiful tanned mothers wrapping their babies up in soft white linen and placing them in their picturesque baby yellow cradles, painted with rainbows, clouds and elephants, a perfect rendition of a fabric softener ad.

But then the father comes in, yelling at mum.

He says he's under so much stress, he can't handle it, he simply can't anymore.

He says she doesn't care that he's having a midlife crisis, so he probably won't care about what he's telling her now.

He tells her he's having an affair, and he's leaving her for the woman, because this other lady actually loves him instead of being obssessed with a child, with housework, with perfection.

He says that obviously she has to have everything perfect.

He says he can't keep up the charade anymore, he's not perfect and he's sick of trying to fake it.

He says he's leaving before she realises he's a sham and kicks him out.

Beating her to the punch.

She says nothing, like she knows its true...

And he waits for her...waits for her to beg him to stay, waits for her to swear she'll change, to profess her love, to cry, to do anything at all.

But she does nothing.

She knows he's right, and she just turns around, so she doesn't have to see him shake his head and walk away, like she always knew and secretly hoped he would.

Turning towards her child, her fresh new unspoilt child, she whispers his name.

'Don't worry dear, I won't let you turn out like him. You and me, we'll be just perfect.'

Wow.

That was weird...

'Chicken or beef dearie?'

'Sorry what?'

'For dinner, you need to pick from the two meals.'

'Oh, right. Um, chicken. Have you seen my mum? She left just before, she didn't tell me where she was going, or if she was coming back.'

hmmph, interesting that I never say 'when she's coming back' anymore.

No sorry dear, I'm not sure I know who you mean.

A quick description of violet hair and green glasses gets the spark of recognition into her eyes.

'Oh yes, she seemed a little uh...flustered. I didn't get the chance to speak to her...'

'Could you let me know if you happen to see her around?'

'Certainly dear, we'll be back with dinner in a little while.'

Sitting staring blankly at the wall, I notice the time, glaring at me from a cheap clock.

Half five...great, childrens shows.

Making sure to get it straight onto ABC, I switch the TV on.

Hmmm, what's this one called again?

Oh right, Naturally Sadie.

Hang on, this doesn't run on tuesdays...

If this is running it makes it...

thursday?

It's thursday?

that can't...

I called out as another nurse walked past.

'Excuse me?'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Ummm, this might seem weird, but can you tell me what day it is?'

'Its Thursday.'

'...do you have any idea how long i've been here?'

'I'll check your chart for you...'

The paper rustles as she ever so slightly impatiently tries to satisfy me.

'It says here that you were admitted immeadiately after your...trauma, on tuesday.

Went into emergency surgery that afternoon and some more on the wednesday, then you were put into an induced coma to wake up today, on thursday.'

'Right, of course. Thankyou.'

'No worries'

I hate thursdays, I remember you always said...

no you don't

I don't what?

remember.

and whats that meant to mean?

of course you dont remember, theres nothing to remember.

nothing to miss.

nothing to be heartbroken about.

everything is fine.

right, of course.

must have been a car accident or something.

yeah, sure, that works...

But, why would my mum lie?

You'd be shocked at your mother lying?

Fair point.

But the media?

Full of crap, as always.

Right, gotcha.

Nothing to miss, nothing to remember.

But I could swear I remember her saying something about thursdays...

Part XI- To spend a day warm on the sand

It can't be true. Can't be real,

Can it?

no. no it can't.

Of course, of course it can't.
so its not then?

right, its not.

Well that's alright then... I guess.
Still doesn't explain the cannon hole.

Remember that cannon that got fired on Kangaroo Island, at that lighthouse?
Yeah, of course, it was so loud...

Happened then, it was an accident.
Oh, right. That makes sense.

-brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-
-brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-

What the hell is that?
- brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-
Giant blowfly?

WHAT! I HATE...
-brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-

Oh wait, just the phone.
Why do I have a phone?

- brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-

And why is it ringing?

- brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-

Why am I not answering it?

- brring brring brrrrrrrrrrrrring-

I stare and stare at it, but it doesn't make it stop.

- brring brring brr-

I pick it up, finally ceasing its senseless dissonance
What am I meant to do with it now?
lick it, obviously.

Yes, thats right. Hang on what?
I turn to ask the Cheshire cat why I'm supposed to lick it, but he just smiles at me.

I turn back to the phone, only to find it has turned into a thorned, creeping vine, twisting its way up my arm.

you cannot stay here

I sit bolt upright, and realise the phone is ringing.

I take a moment to scrutinise it, to ensure it isn't going to choke me again, and lift it to my ear.

Silence, on both ends, as if both parties simply could not think of a thing to say, but were comforted by the others presence none the less.

'Hello?' you whisper tentatively, in a voice so small I didn't think the thing producing it would be big enough to be seen with the naked eye.
'Hello?' I reply, in the voice of a person slowly fading away to invisible.

'It's me'.
'I'm glad'

'...'
'...'

'how are you?'
'...alive'

'that makes two of us'
'I'm glad'

'...is it true, is it true what they say happened?'
'...no,it can't be, not at our school'

'but its all over the TV'
'lies, you know what the media gets like'

'...but...why would they make something like this up?
'...'

'and if they made it up...why does my leg hurt'
'...I dunno'

'i think...i think it must be real'
'...but........really? you really think so?'

'...yeah, i think so...i mean, i don't want to... but...'
'...yeah...i know'

'i should go, the nurses are coming back in.'
'mmmk, maybe ill try to find out where my mum went'

'thats probably a good idea'
'probably'

'hey...i love you'
'yeah, i know.'

'you're meant to say 'I love you too', stupid'
'yeah,i know.'

You do that funny little half laugh thing and I realise you actually did need to hear it.

'just kidding, i love you too.'
'yeah, i know'.
Ears ringing with each others tiny half smiles, we hang up.

And, weirdly enough, I want to hold your hand.

I want to feel your pulse, I want you to feel mine.

I need to find a way to believe that we are still alive, even though...


even though others are not.