Part XV - Spin the wheel, we'll set you up with some odd convictions

At this point, some deep dark part of me realised that I was

a) thinking too hard
b) trying too hard not to think too hard
c) desperately craving solitaire

So I reached out for the wheely table that held the evidence of your glitter hurricane, only to find it just beyond my reach. the kind of just out of reach that would be reachable at a stretch, if you didn't have a stomach full of stitches, or staples, or super glue or whatever they're using these days.

Fine then. I didn't really want the iPod anyway... Folding my arms and turning my head away in dumb-ass defiency, I try the old trick I always used to pull on you, and snap straight around, to catch you by surprise.

Although you look surprised enough, for a table, it does not bring you any closer to me, or me to iPod, it just makes me stomach hurt. Stupid table.

'Hey, who you callin stupid? I'm not the one who can't reach a table without pulling their stitches out.'

'I could so, if I wanted! I just don't want to!'

'Oh sure!'

'How dare you be so rude to me!'

'Oh I dare'

'..stupid table'

I can hardly help but cross arms and turn head yet again.

'Now who's being rude!'

'Hmmph!'

'Oh well, if you really do care about it so much, I'll give you a tip.'

Slowly, slyly, suspiciously, I turn my head towards it.

'One side will make you grow taller, the other side will make you grow smaller!'

'The other side of what?'

...

'Hello?? Now who's being rude!!'

...

'THE OTHER SIDE OF WHAT!!!'

Realising that the gerbera had began to shake her head and tut me, I silenced myself and looked around.

Suddenly, glaringly obvious is the magic button thingy. It glows a mysterious red-orange, begging me to try a side, try a button.

So, how to choose?

'eeny meeny miney moe, catch a tiggr by the toe, if he hollas let him go, eeny meeny miny moe...'

The right hand one, the right one. I hope thats a good sign...

Taking a shallow breath, i press on it.

Nothing happens, so I press it again.

'Well that was pointless, stupid table.'

As I glared at it, I realised it was getting larger, the button in my hand felt bigger, heavier.
My alfoil thin hospital blanket suddenly seemed immense, and I eventually realised I was getting smaller.

I wondered how long it would go on, as it seemed to be happening very slowly.

I watched inquisitively as the big white hills rose up around me, my pillow now a mountain, as if a new world was being born.

Suddenly I wondered with a panic when it would stop, surely I would soon shrink into nothing...

and yet, the moment it occured to me, the world seemed to stabilise. I wonder...

ow. right, so my stomach still hurts even when I'm miniscule.
great.


what the hell is that?

a creature that looks kind of like a syringe is sewing words in the hills with its beak, aggravatingly slowly.

'I? no, not an I. maybe becoming a B?
Oh, a D, great. hmm... oh right an O.'

This could take a while.

sitting cross legged on the floor, i wait impatiently for what may be absolutely nothing.

'don't step on the... don't step on the what!!!'
ugh.

I lie down on my back and nearly rip myself to bits with my frustration.

After what felt like an eternity, I struggled up again.
'Don't step on the mome raths.'
'Mome raths?'

In less than an instant I am swarmed by strange silvery grey fuzzy things, that seem somewhat cute for the rest of the instant, but when they are covering me, smothering me, they seem a little less gorgeous.

'BUT I DIDNT STAND ON YOU!!! I WASN'T EVEN STANDING!'
suddenly, I simply can't take it anymore and I jump to my feet, leaping back from the hordes, spinning round and round trying frantically to get away from them, but it can't be done, they will take me over, surely. Bury me in their writhing mass so that I can never escape.

But, just as suddenly as it began it is over. Turning to see the valley, I am greeted by carnage. Everywhere, blood and bodies. And the mome raths, the silver... slowly but surely it turns to the grey of school uniform, once familiar, now distorted faces.

And its my fault...

Shrieking, begging, screaming, crying, I claw my way up the pillow mountain to what is now a giant orange....lumpy bumpy glowing thing.

'One side will make you taller, the other side will make you smaller'

Frantically, I jump up and down on the left hand button, the left behind button.

'taller, please taller. PLEASE!!!' I stamp and stamp on it, but I'm too small to make a difference, too small to fix what I've done.

'PLEASE, PLEASE!!!' now I'm begging, but I don't know who.

I stamp and stamp on the stupid button but nothing happens.
Somehow i end up lying on my stomach, bawling my eyes out, throwing a tantrum no two year old could muster, desperation permeating every fibre.

And I can't help but feel that it might never go away.